Even the most amicable divorces can be stressful. Perhaps you’ve just grown apart and, although you’ve tried hanging on for the benefit of the children, life is miserable. Maybe you get along; maybe you don’t. Although everything seemed like it was going to be a clear path ahead, a snag here and a bump there can quickly turn a divorce into your biggest nightmare. As a woman, and especially a mother, divorce can be particularly difficult. Here is some of what you might want to understand to help you survive divorce. Millions of other ladies have done it and you can too!
Time Is on Your Side
If you are embroiled in a particularly bitter divorce and are laden with grief at the death of a relationship, you might want to understand that grief doesn’t usually last forever! Have you ever lost a loved one to death? You don’t forget them, but the grief eases over the weeks, months and years. You never forget them, but there comes a time when you are able to go about your day without every waking thought being of the person who passed. If you can hold onto this during those bleakest hours in the initial days, you will gain strength from knowing that the pain of your ending relationship will heal. It may not help in the here and now, but it will at least give you hope for tomorrow.
Dealing with the Sharing of Property
Here is a huge issue for so many women, especially those with children. The property can, and often is, divided equally between spouses. When children are involved, the custodial parent may be awarded the lion’s share. However, what can you do about your spouses of the equity you’ve built in that home if you decide to live on there for stability for your children? This would be a time to consult with a transfer of equity solicitor, who can help you find ways to buy out your ex legally so that your home remains just that – your home! Many women find moving to a new home the hardest part of divorce when it means uprooting the children, who are still recovering from their parents’ separation.
Know That You Are Not Alone
If you have a counsellor you can talk to, don’t be afraid to speak freely. Sometimes, giving voice to those innermost feelings is the catalyst of beginning the healing process. Unfortunately, many women don’t have a therapist they can relate to. Even so, there is more than one road to Rome! Join a divorce support group to gain strength from others who are feeling and experiencing many of the issues you now face. Some have been divorced a number of years and others have recently been through a split. No one has all the answers, but you can often find strength in knowing you are not alone and that others feel the same exact way you do!
It’s okay to mourn the loss of a relationship, but it’s what you do going forward that can affect the rest of your life. Keep this in mind, and there is the rest of your life waiting for you. As the old saying goes, ‘This too shall pass.’
