Most people I talk to say some variation of “I bet it’s hard having twins” or “how do you cope?” No one means it – but sometimes it feels as if people treat twins as a calamity. When I was pregnant I was shocked a colleague came up to me and said “oh God, twins! How awful, I would hate to have twins!” I suppose I used to think the same – though I hope I was more tactful. But how do you cope with anything? You just try to get through each day as best as you can and count every success – no matter how little.

Of course it was a shock finding out we were expecting twins. I had always said I wanted two children, and couldn’t understand why anyone would want a larger family. I was perfectly content having just me and my brother growing up, and I suppose I wanted to replicate that. I had a really happy childhood with loads of attention, even when my dad was away at sea in the navy, and my mum was on her own.

So now a year on and my life is definitely not as I envisaged. Childcare is so expensive it makes no financial sense to go back to work at the moment. It was a tough year in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Trying to tandam feed two constantly hungry babies; deciding which baby to pick up when both are screaming, getting all three dressed and out of the house ready for an outing, getting back into the house after an outing when all are tired and grumpy; and in the last month both babies coming down with chicken pox a week apart. If I am honest I would say we’re only meant to have one baby at a time. They’re too fragile in the early days and are so demanding. I feel guilty that I haven’t been able to give them the one-to-one time their sister thrived on. If there was only one, I would be back at work, if only part time. We wouldn’t have needed a new car, two highchairs and two cotbeds or new cumbersome pram that won’t fit through doors.

Our life would be so much easier with only one baby.