Here Come The Girls

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Managing Our Emotional Past

The family unit is not what it used to be. Too often, we see broken homes with only one parent. Often grandparents have to step in and help raise the children. A big part of the problem is financial. The news claims the economy is getting better, but that is not true for everyone. It can be a struggle for us to manage emotions when the financial situation is difficult. Such emotional struggles make it difficult to be a good partner. This struggle might become our family culture. What is family culture anyway? 

The Things We Bring With Us 

The biggest problem with emotional issues is not the emotions themselves. Emotions, even those we perceive as negative such as sadness or anger, are necessary. Emotion is how we make sense of the things around us that fall into the gray area of logical fact. The appropriate and release of emotion is a large part of what keeps us from acting irrational. When emotions are mismanaged or not managed at all, we will begin to act irrationally based on those emotions. It is then, with those inappropriate and irrational behaviors, that those emotions become a negative force. 

We bring most of what we use to handle emotions with us from childhood. As children, we had no idea how to manage emotions and, unless taught otherwise, we will continue not being able to handle them. Parents try to teach their children how to manage emotions, but, often, do not even know how to manage emotions properly themselves. Even those that do understand may not have the most current techniques. Psychologists come up with better methods for each generation and, in some cases, each year. It comes down to the fact that, without seeking counseling, or self-study, nobody knows the latest emotional management techniques.

Can Be a Repeating Cycle 

Without improvement, we bring these emotional issues we have from our families and our childhood into our adult lives and relationships. Emotional dysfunction can seep into marriage and rot it. Before we know it, we are raising children in the same environment we grew up in. Often, the very thing we swore never to do. This is an unfortunate repeating cycle of pain, sadness, and anger that is much too common in our society. These attitudes and emotions bleed out of family life and into other aspects of society, such as work and school. Out in the real world, attitudes and core beliefs can clash severely if they are not managed properly. 

Professional Help 

There is no harm or shame in seeking help to find the tools for keeping a family together. Our lack of inherent sense of how to manage emotion properly means we must seek counseling. To protect relationships, we need counseling, both for managing our own emotions and in groups, to manage the appropriateness of how we interact with each other. Sometimes the easiest way to save a family is with just a bit of help from outside of the family. With a trip to a marriage counselor or family counselor, we can learn how to manage our interpersonal interactions. A private counseling session can teach us to unload past baggage and bad management techniques. With work, we can be better people, which will reflect in our interpersonal interactions. 

Self Help 

Some simple home techniques can help us deal with our past baggage and personal situation. Meditation is a good way to stay calm and collect thoughts. Often, when we think of meditation, the picture of a bald monk in an orange robe comes to our mind’s eye. That, however, is not the full truth. Meditation is a great way for the average person to collect our thoughts and clear our minds. With a clear and collected mind, it is much easier to manage personal emotions even without knowing any modern emotion management techniques. It is easy to meditate that childhood baggage away or at least into a manageable place. 

parent and children

All In All 

The way we are raised can leave us almost helpless. Our emotions and our emotional scars come with us, and they can ruin our families and marriages. To hold things together, it is crucial to try to manage our emotions. Meditation can be a big help at keeping dormant things dormant, but sometimes it requires better equipment. A counselor could help save you from yourself and save your family relationships. 


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